Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Things I'm afraid to tell you

I found this challenge and I had to go for it.

So here we go...

x. I am a tedious over-thinker.
I over think everything, I always have to mull over what to say to people. I was painfully shy whilst at school, for fear of being thought an absolute idiot by my peers. I'm not so shy any-more, but I don't speak easily to people, unless I'm really comfortable with them. Some people it comes easy, right away, but with others it can take a ridiculously long time for me to open up. It's the thing that probably annoys me most about myself, but I am getting better.

x. I want to do photography for a living.
This has probably been one of the most hardest things for me to say out loud, I don't quite know why. That's a lie, I do know why I can't say it out loud, it's because I'm scared of putting myself out there and failing. Part of me feels that I don't have what my other photographer friends have, they seem to  have their own incredibly beautiful unique style, sometimes I feel like I don't have that in my photography and I feel that will hinder me in my dreams to be a photographer for a living (if only part-time). But I will be trying my absolute hardest to at least make my dreams come true, now to release the poster for my facebook page offering portraits that I've been sitting on for a month...

x. I want to travel.
I want to go see the world for what it is, my greatest hope is that I'll see some of the world, I want to explore different countries and cultures. I'm scared to my core that it won't happen and that one day I'll wake up and find that I haven't been anywhere or seen anything. I have been on holidays, to America and various places over Europe, but that's not enough for me. What about China? Japan? India? New Zealand? Peru? Africa? All of these places, and more are calling my name, but I don't know when/if I'll be able to answer and sometimes that thought makes me feel sick.

x. I am forcing myself to post this & link to it.
Because, sometimes, you just have to be honest with yourself, it feels good to write down things that you're afraid to tell people.

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